093. When Style Becomes a Body Image Healer
Seven Writers Share How Clothes Helped Them Come Home To Themselves
In modern times, Fashion has manipulated itself as both a poison and an antidote to body image struggles. The industry sells insecurity with one hand and offers expensive solutions with the other. Body positivity is no longer a rallying cry but a marketing slogan. Instagram filters promise perfection, while the hashtags underneath demand authenticity. Our bodies are problems to be solved, and each new season, with its new rules and silhouettes, keeps kicking the can down the road.
Every person who reads this will have, at some point, felt personally victimised by an industry that hasn’t evolved its approach to standardised pattern making and sizing since the 1940s. That said, I’m sure many readers will also say that clothes have at times helped them feel more confident, express themselves, or even arrive at the truth of who they are. We hear these positive stories less often, and I was interested in hearing from women who transformed their closet from a source of anxiety to a tool of empowerment. I asked seven of my favourite newsletter-ers to share how they rewired their relationship with their reflection through their wardrobe. In today’s newsletter, they detail how style helped them come home to themselves through some of life's most transformative chapters - post-partum, divorce, getting older, etc. Unsurprisingly, each of these stories is complex. There is no saccharine promise of instant self-love. They highlight both the power and limitations of clothing in our journey toward self-acceptance. A Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress was a uniform that felt inauthentically deployed for the male gaze for one of these women and an invitation to become bolder and more confident for another. They all speak lovingly about the items of clothing that made them make peace with their bodies, and they all highlight clothes as a vehicle for individuality.
I hope these stories amplify the fuzzy feelings you may have about your clothes. I love being reminded that, as women, we’re all connected through our experiences and ability to grow and evolve continuously. I highly recommend subscribing to the work of the women who have kindly shared their stories with me this week. I’m a better person with a healthier relationship with my wardrobe, thanks to their writing.
Christina, who writes the No One Asked, But newsletter
Christina writes about ‘getting dressed as a form of self-care for women in their 30s and beyond’. I always recommend Christina’s writing to everyone, but especially to post-partum mums, as this is a topic she writes about in depth. Last year, she wrote a guest essay for Every Body Gets Dressed, ‘Getting Dressed Makes Me A Better Mom’.
We spend so much time talking about, thinking about, planning for and buying clothes to take us through pregnancy that getting dressed postpartum often becomes an afterthought.
I found myself postpartum after my first child, wondering what to do with all the pants with belly bands and form-fitting dresses I had felt great in just a short time before, while also realizing that most of my pre-pregnancy clothes weren’t an option either. It was a hard time - I felt frustrated and ashamed of my body, and then also frustrated with and ashamed of myself for feeling that way.